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The concept of ”raise by lifting others” is not cool at all if you don’t get it right

Helping is great. Feeling solidarity to fellow creatures on this planet is great too. How you do it matters. Lifting yourself by putting other people down is not cool at all and ”we raise by lifting others” concept has something rotten, too.

It’s not easy to be the good guy, eh? Let me share how I think helping each other should be.

But first… about this blog! I wanted to start writing a blog again for a long time. So here we go, this is my second post under Luovasti! Wohoo! #memakingatoast. Back to the point of the topic.

So tonight I want to share my thoughts with you about how terribly wrong can concept of ”we raise by lifting others” be understood. So first of all, if you try to lift others, where do you want to lift them? You want to help them raise in comparison to what? If YOU want to raise another human being up, why do you think you can do it better than him/herself? It can be offending. Not everyone wants to be raisen up. Offering to raise someone up might make him/her feel you think you are superior.

I have done many mistakes by trying to be helpful.

I tend to get excited about other people’s business. Especially new entrepreneurs are my favorite targets. I get excited and want to help. I give advice, cause I have a long career in projects, finances, communications, marketing… I want to help! I always did. I still do. I have just changed the way I do it. Now here is the thing. Telling people what they should do is not cool (if you are not asked for advice!). What I have learned is to shut up most of the time. I used to immediately give a lot of advice how the new entrepreneur could do better in business planning, marketing, sales… Now I understand how it sounded: ”She thinks she can do everything better”. I didn’t. But now I understand it sounded like that. Then, after 10 years of working for others I started my own business. That is the moment I started to realize the real gold of helping others is not telling people what they don’t know. Instead the real gold is: LISTENING. ENCOURAGING. Giving advice WHEN ASKED or at least in a RIGHT MOMENT. I still love mentoring. I still love customers who want me to help them create communications plan, marketing campaign, social media presence, project plan… I just don’t push my advice too hard anymore.

Happy to listen what you have on your mind.

Maria

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Freedom! Are you free for few minutes to read this? Yes you are!

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I am free and I love it. You can be too, just keep on reading.

When you start to think about the concept of freedom, in principle you maybe think, yes, I am free. I live in a free society, I am free to choose my profession, I am free to walk on the streets, free to travel to almost any country etc etc.

But are you really free to choose what you want to do? I mean really really? I think you are and you should use that freedom!

The other side of the coin, you say, you maybe feel that your life is full of obligations. I need to wake up to feed the kids, send them out to school, need to rush to work or study! To be on time! You need, you need, they need, they want!

Stop now for few seconds to ask this question to yourself: ARE YOU REALLY FREE? Yes you are! You might not feel free, but you are!

My medicine to the lack of feeling of freedom is: break the rule. Break your own rule. It doesn’t need to be radical, it can be simple thing.

Take a break for one minute on your way to supermarket to enjoy a view, rays of sun, pick a flower, look at the birds. Take your kid’s hand and look him in the eye for 10 seconds.

Take free 10 minutes in your busy day and write a blog post abut freedom, as I here did! Oh boy how free I feel! Simple, isn’t it!

The biggest act of freedom in my life has been moving to this home town of mine in the countryside. I was living in cities for long time, studying and working, creating a career. Most of the time, I didn’t feel free. Many times I wanted to move to country side, away from the capital, to raise the kids in safe environment, so that they can dig the ground and be free, as I felt I had been when I was a kid. But to be honest, when I lived in Helsinki, I didn’t really think it was a possibility for me to move back to Veteli, my hometown. All the jobs are in the capital, everyone else is in the capital, too, oh dear how wrong was I! I was busy living like everyone else, not truly thinking the options. But then something hit me. I had made lists of pro’s and con’s for different places we could live with my husband for years, but we always end up not choosing Veteli as the place to live. I accidentally read a little book about decision making  theories. There was a decision making model, where you are told not to think about pros and cons but to think about what attracts you and what hinders you. I started to think:

I want to live in Veteli, that came from my heart.

So what hinders you, I asked myself? Work; not really, I am freelancing. Apartment/house; not really, actually it is a lot cheaper to live in the country side. Family: noup, they are willing to move, my kids love the country side (they were 5 and 6 years old) and husband, too, more than me, actually. I couldn’t think any reason why I should not move to Veteli! I wanted to, so I should! And so we did! As simple as that! So here we are, living in the middle of birds, fresh air and feeling of freedom since almost two years now! And I love it! I know there are people like us, who are rural on purpose. It’s a movement, swimming upstream the urbanization.

Share if you like! Wishing you lots of feelings of freedom! Feel FREE to comment or contact! Visit us! Visit Veteli, it’s beautiful! Visit our little co-working space Luovasti 🙂 Cheers and good luck with feeling free! Maria