Helping is great. Feeling solidarity to fellow creatures on this planet is great too. How you do it matters. Lifting yourself by putting other people down is not cool at all and ”we raise by lifting others” concept has something rotten, too.
It’s not easy to be the good guy, eh? Let me share how I think helping each other should be.
But first… about this blog! I wanted to start writing a blog again for a long time. So here we go, this is my second post under Luovasti! Wohoo! #memakingatoast. Back to the point of the topic.
So tonight I want to share my thoughts with you about how terribly wrong can concept of ”we raise by lifting others” be understood. So first of all, if you try to lift others, where do you want to lift them? You want to help them raise in comparison to what? If YOU want to raise another human being up, why do you think you can do it better than him/herself? It can be offending. Not everyone wants to be raisen up. Offering to raise someone up might make him/her feel you think you are superior.
I have done many mistakes by trying to be helpful.
I tend to get excited about other people’s business. Especially new entrepreneurs are my favorite targets. I get excited and want to help. I give advice, cause I have a long career in projects, finances, communications, marketing… I want to help! I always did. I still do. I have just changed the way I do it. Now here is the thing. Telling people what they should do is not cool (if you are not asked for advice!). What I have learned is to shut up most of the time. I used to immediately give a lot of advice how the new entrepreneur could do better in business planning, marketing, sales… Now I understand how it sounded: ”She thinks she can do everything better”. I didn’t. But now I understand it sounded like that. Then, after 10 years of working for others I started my own business. That is the moment I started to realize the real gold of helping others is not telling people what they don’t know. Instead the real gold is: LISTENING. ENCOURAGING. Giving advice WHEN ASKED or at least in a RIGHT MOMENT. I still love mentoring. I still love customers who want me to help them create communications plan, marketing campaign, social media presence, project plan… I just don’t push my advice too hard anymore.
Happy to listen what you have on your mind.